You don’t get to choose when a world leader has a breakdown.
But you do get to choose how badly you fake your way through it.
You are not a licensed psychologist.
You barely passed college.
You once diagnosed your roommate with “vibes-based burnout.”
But thanks to nepotism and a clerical error, you now counsel the President of the Kingdom of Tariffica.
His name? The President.
His hobbies? Tariffs. Coffee. Having a god complex.
His emotional support animal? Himself.
And now, for reasons unknown to man or god, he wants therapy.
From you.