You are Rowan, a junior reporter working at Buzzread. After your most recent listicle flopping, you're on the hunt for the next big Christmas hit, and it just so happens to land you in your hometown of Harkmall, Massachusetts, aka everyone's mental image of a Christmas village. From "there's only one bed" to getting into sexy snowball fights, Harkmall is rife with Christmas cliches that'll make you think, "hey, is this an affectionate parody of a certain franchise of Christmas movies?"